Discussions on the ebb and flow of relationships.

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Spring

Spring is well on the way in most of the states now and the next event around the corner is Mother’s Day!

Mother’s are important. They provide, protect, love and wisdom. Sure it might not always feel that way but their perspective is bigger than your’s and that just means they know the consequences of certain actions before you even consider the actions, which is why they warn you not to do certain things.

Sure not all mothers are upright citizens, to put it mildly, but it doesn’t mean you should treat them rudely. Take the high road and send them a card or gift and just maybe you can be the relationship they need.

Send them a card to let them know you appreciate them and love them.

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Snow in April

Sometimes life can be depressing. Just when you expect the warmth and beauty of spring to break forth, you get a wet, rainy cold day. (Yes, Chicago was blessed with more snow yesterday than many years worth of storms of recent past.)

Take heart, life is a compilation of events and one day is a small fraction of your experience on this mortal coil. Tomorrow will certainly provide a new perspective as the earth swings around the sun, moving the sun drenched area of our planet towards it’s next season.

If you’ve been reading for awhile we make a lot of meta-fores relating to relationships and this concept of difficult days in a relationship will certainly pass and the sun will shine again on the both of you.

Sometimes you need to make that happen, and one way is with an unexpected gift. Maybe it’s not their birthday, they’d be even more pleasantly surprised if they received a precious gift at this time. You can check out the Jewelry List or Birthday List.

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Rain

Do you see it as a positive or a negative?

It can be both.

Without rain we’d have desert everywhere and it’s tough to live in a desert, therefore we need rain.

With rain all the time we’d not have picnic’s in the sun, long walks at sunset, baseball games, rides in the convertible, fun at theme parks, and so much more.

We need both, rain and sun.

Just because your relationship is facing a storm doesn’t mean the sun will never shine again. It’s a common mistake most everyone makes. But to become a strong, living couple you need both the storms and the sun. Now emotionally it doesn’t feel that way, but the next time you face a storm in your relationship you’ll start to realize that it won’t last long and the strength of the relationship will grow until you realize, “this is nothing to get through. Sure it’s not fun but we’ve done this before and we’ll do it again.”

Of course it always helps to get a nice gift during the storm. Check out these gifts.

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Life is like a racetrack

You notice how events in your life seem to come and go over and over again. It’s like life is giving you opportunities over and over again, the question we have to answer is how to make better decisions in every turn so we don’t hit the wall or skid out on the track.

An example that comes into my mind is the movie Ground Hog Day. It’s a classic Bill Murray movie. (I wouldn’t recommend it to families with young children because he goes through a very violent time because he doesn’t want to face certain corners of the racetrack of his life and he just ends it.) It makes us think about how we handle the events in our everyday life. Do we just hid and check-out of the relationships around us or do we engage with life and make it better for those around us. The movie has a great ending where the lead character learns what it means to be a good friend. A selfless good friend.

In the same light as Ground Hog Day we don’t get to experience the exact events every day but we do get to experience very similar events every day. Things like waking up and interacting with your spouse or family. Getting to work and saying Hi to everyone or just sneaking in. Making the office a cheerful place or a dreary one. Arriving home after work and setting the temperature of the family by your loving and graceful attitude. After you go around the track several times those around you will start to respond and live a better life too.

Of course a great way to improve any relationship is to start with an unexpected gift.

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Life is what happens in between planned events.

This week was filled with events.  One funeral and one wedding.  It was the worst of times, it was the best of times.

These two events were certainly memorable and lasting.  The bonding of people and the separation of people.  Again it’s about relationships.

Without writing much, the important thing to remember is that while you have time to spend with loved ones, do just that.  Spend time with them.  I heard that we are all equal in the amount of time we have every day.  The rich and the poor, the old and the young all have 24 hours a day and that’s it.  In those 24 hours will you be deepening friendships or dividing them, making precious memories or ruinous ones.

To make them better you know what to do, buy them a gift.

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Spring Break 2019

Ahh, the idea that spring is coming is a hopeful thought. To us in the north it means, no more scraping ice off windshields in 0 degree weather while our hands are frozen and the wind bites our nose. No more salt that ruins our car mats, house floors and garages. We can put away the outer layers of coats, scarves, gloves and hats and replace them with short sleeve shirts and casual pants.

The right of passage in spring break is commonly bestowed with a trip to Florida. I grew up in Florida so it’s like going home. That means driving like someone whose had 10 cups of espresso after being up all night. It’s a little insane on the east coast. The west cost is fraught with congestion and traffic. It’s best to get to your hotel or resort or rental home and walk. Walk to the ice cream shop, to the beach, to the restaurants and parks, or travel by boat. If you can do this you will have the best Florida trip ever. (And that includes Disney World, but there’s so much more to see than Disney.)

Visit Natural Florida. From the Florida pan handle to the Keys there are dozens of state and national parks. (If you have the time I highly recommend a trip out to Dry Tortugas. It is truly a dive into natural Florida. If you can I would recommend camping there. It’s one of the most spectacular night skies I’ve ever seen with great snorkeling around the fort too. You can rent a kayak and take it with you on the ferry, Yankee Freedom. Then if you’re real adventurous, I’ve done this with my son, kayak over to Loggerhead Key because the west side of that island has beautiful shallow water reefs where you can skin dive (snorkeling) and see thousands of tropical fish.

It’s a great opportunity to make memories with those you love. (Remember gift giving is all about relationships and this trip can be too.) With that said make sure you are prepared. Check our our TopList for a Trip to Florida. This list will also work if you are preparing for a Caribbean Cruise.

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Communication, the glue of a relationship

Did you know that people have different styles of communication from their heart? You can check it out in the book, “The Five Love Languages“.

Of course our favorite love language is the language of gift giving/receiving. Those people are our bread and butter, because.

  1. If you speak the love language of gifts, you’ll enjoy perusing our lists to find just the right gift for the situation.
  2. If your special other speaks the love language of gifts, and you don’t, you’ll be thankful for our lists to quickly and appropriately find a gift for any situation.

I would highly recommend taking the quizes on the Five Love Languages Website, they’re free, to find out your own love language. If you are in a relationship I would recommend you have your partner take the quiz too. You’ll find a much more satisfied relationship if you two know how to ‘talk’ to each other in your love languages. This is something that can help a new relationship and those that have been together 60 years.

Take the Love Languages quiz here.

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Spring

The further north you live, the greater chance you are affected by the seasonal blues. This time of year one can get very blue, waiting and waiting for spring to come. You know it will come but it helps to have a few milestones along the way. By that I mean some celebrations. If you or a friend has a birthday, it’s a great way to splurge and look forward to a party and fun. You can schedule a short trip to a destination close to your home, where you just get away from the rat race for a 2 or 3 day weekend.

Those simple scheduled events can raise the spirits even in the grayest of days in Northeast Ohio.

To prepare for the event or trip we have you covered in our top lists.

Get a camera. Make it romantic. Prepare for his birthday or her birthday.

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When in a relationship, choose the high road.

Every relationship has a pivot point. After that point that relationship it will either get better or get worse. How do you know?

Since nobody is perfect we all know that every one of us will screw up in some way. Sometimes it will be a big mess and at other times it will just be a minor issue, but how we deal with that mess will reveal how strong the relationship will grow.

There are two ways you can go after the mistake. The first I’ll call the low road. This road doesn’t try to clean-up the mess, it tries to hide it and ignore it. It is marked by lies and deceit. The poor defense usually makes it sound like it’s the partners fault. It’s littered with phrases like, “if only they had treated me better, I wound’t have done it.” “I’ll be good when they are good to me.” “I just can’t stand their complaining or their laziness.”

To sum it up, the low road means your actions only reflect the way you are treated. If you’re treated well, you’ll act good. If you’re treated poorly, you’ll act in kind. The problem with this arrangement is the question, “who will be the first to do the right thing and act kind, loving, faithful, etc if you’re waiting on someone else to do the right thing?” With this in mind and knowing the fact that nobody’s perfect, there will be a time when a mess up gives right to abandon the relationship.

The high road is more concerned about doing the right thing regardless of how they are treated. Think of it as a thermostat instead of a thermometer. It sets the standard for the relationship. It doesn’t wait for the temperature to warm up so the relationship can heat up, it sets the temperature. This high road is forthright in taking care of messes. It might not be cleaner but it throws the mess into the light and tries to clean it up.

Of course I also have to mention something about gift giving. My advice to you is to be the thermostat in your relationship. You can heat-up the relationship right now with a gift and if you need to you can buy a gift as an apology. Either way a great relationship is on the way with a great gift.

The pivot point is the way you handle the mess. Take the high road.

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Quote

I heard another saying today that provides a proper perspective on hate and love.

“Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.”

Instead of focusing on hate and love in that saying, focus on strife vs the absence of offensive words. Meaning, if you see strife then hatred is behind it. If there is absence of offenses, it doesn’t mean that they haven’t occurred it just means that, they have been covered by love.

This can apply to others or to yourself. Do you hate yourself and stir up a lot of strife? You need to start with loving yourself and cover all offenses. That means all offenses not just the ones you choose.

Of course this too is all about relationships and that’s why we built this website, to build relationships. (We weren’t thinking about relationships with oneself but if you want to buy yourself a gift, that’s fine too.) Relationships blossom when a value is recognized in the other person, and giving a gift is a material representation of that value. So look over our lists and start building relationships.

The TopLists.Shop Team

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