When in a relationship, choose the high road.

Every relationship has a pivot point. After that point that relationship it will either get better or get worse. How do you know?

Since nobody is perfect we all know that every one of us will screw up in some way. Sometimes it will be a big mess and at other times it will just be a minor issue, but how we deal with that mess will reveal how strong the relationship will grow.

There are two ways you can go after the mistake. The first I’ll call the low road. This road doesn’t try to clean-up the mess, it tries to hide it and ignore it. It is marked by lies and deceit. The poor defense usually makes it sound like it’s the partners fault. It’s littered with phrases like, “if only they had treated me better, I wound’t have done it.” “I’ll be good when they are good to me.” “I just can’t stand their complaining or their laziness.”

To sum it up, the low road means your actions only reflect the way you are treated. If you’re treated well, you’ll act good. If you’re treated poorly, you’ll act in kind. The problem with this arrangement is the question, “who will be the first to do the right thing and act kind, loving, faithful, etc if you’re waiting on someone else to do the right thing?” With this in mind and knowing the fact that nobody’s perfect, there will be a time when a mess up gives right to abandon the relationship.

The high road is more concerned about doing the right thing regardless of how they are treated. Think of it as a thermostat instead of a thermometer. It sets the standard for the relationship. It doesn’t wait for the temperature to warm up so the relationship can heat up, it sets the temperature. This high road is forthright in taking care of messes. It might not be cleaner but it throws the mess into the light and tries to clean it up.

Of course I also have to mention something about gift giving. My advice to you is to be the thermostat in your relationship. You can heat-up the relationship right now with a gift and if you need to you can buy a gift as an apology. Either way a great relationship is on the way with a great gift.

The pivot point is the way you handle the mess. Take the high road.